no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Drunk is a universal language darling
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
