sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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