Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize