Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
