Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize