You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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