I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
