You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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