Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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