the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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