In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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