this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
