Nicole vs. Life
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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