i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
this is an emotional support booty call
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