can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
