I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
