Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
