Umm I'm too high to move.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
