I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she peed on how many people?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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