whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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