Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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