My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
