then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
