she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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