Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
