I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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