Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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