Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
