I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
