i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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