So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
