Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Let's get the cat blown out
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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