my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Found the puke drawer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
