if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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