I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
