Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize