Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
