I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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