I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
