We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize