The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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