dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
