I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
