She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
