he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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