Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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