God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize