I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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