Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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