I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
