We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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