btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
