This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You ate ashes out of my bong
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize