is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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