well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
