i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
