My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
