Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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