first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
