im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize