drinking out of a sandbucket again
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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