He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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