sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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