i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize